Have a 3rd date tonight

So, I met a guy that I really like about 3 weeks ago. Even though we talk just about everyday - about life, work, relationships, our families, religion, politics, etc - we have not talked about my health history at all.  He knows that I had some tough times when I was in my 20's, but he doesn't know what that pertains to...yet.  A lot of times, by now, I would have mentioned that I spent my entire 20's in and out of the hospital, had multiple surgeries, and/or just the fact that I have/had Crohn's. BUT I haven't mentioned any of these things to this guy yet!

We have a date tonight.  I really want to invite him over - NOT to sleep with him - but I would like to order pizza, watch a movie, cuddle & make-out. So obviously I need to chat with him about the fact that "Im not ready to have sex, etc."  But I'm also trying to decide if I tell him about my surgeries that resulted in my permanent ostomy tonight or not?!

I will update tomorrow with what happened....

Weed out the assholes upfront!

We really are blessed...we know our medical issues already.  And we have to tell people that we are in a relationship with up front.  Could you imagine falling in love with someone and building a life together and then getting cancer of something and their not bale to deal with it...and they leave you?  I have heard these stories way too many times.  But for me, I have to tell the guy pretty early on in the relationship....if he cant deal with it, then good riddens!  He's not going to stand by my side through the struggles of life anyway.  But the man that accepts it, will go with the flow and deal with anything life throws at us!  And that's who I want!

Please note: I have told many guys about my ostomy...and knock on wood, I have never been "denied."  Who knows ultimately what ended the relationships, but I would put money on the fact that it just has to do with me being a little crazy, bit anything to do with my ostomy :)

I want casual sex!!

I met a guy online and we hit it off.  We kissed after our first time meeting, then went to lunch the next day.  I don’t think he is my future boyfriend...there is something a little odd about this guys. Plus he kind of smelled like my Grandfather (weird, I know).  But he thinks Im hot and I think he’s hot…plus Im 34 and single…Im in my prime! So I started freaking out about “the talk” I needed to have with him before we could get it on! 

I usually wait a while and bring up other topics first (i.e. I mention how I was really sick for such a long time, and how I would have died if I didn’t have this surgery, etc).  But I decided to just tell him. Just spit it out!  I starting getting really shy and couldn’t get it out of my mouth – I was making it worse then it really is….and he started to panic.  Anyway, I finally spit it out – and he was almost relieved. He said, “really?  That’s it?”  Apparently he thought I was going to tell him I used to be a man, or “down there” doesn’t work. LOL

[UPDATE] I didn’t end up sleeping with him. I really didn’t like him that much, I guess I was just in a mood and wanted to have sex…or have the option of having sex.  Anyway, I was so proud of myself that I got “the talk” out of the way.  Practice makes perfect!

Accept it!

If you don’t accept it how will he ever accept it?  If you're self conscience then he’s going to be on edge.  You have to accept that you have an ostomy and not let it define you – be sexy!  Act like its not there…and go for it!