She has the perfect body – and she's still self-conscience

My girl friend who has been married for just over 1 year told me that she is not in the mood to have sex with her husband because she has gain some weight and she feels unattractive. I got so mad at her…she is beautiful with a nice flat stomach, long legs, perky boobs…and not a scar on her body.  She knows about my ostomy surgery and was there with me when I was sick with Crohn’s in and out of the hospital and during the adjustment period of having my ostomy.  I told her, “if men still find me sexy naked, then I am damn sure your husband finds you sexy with or without the extra 10 pounds.” 

It just goes to show…even the girls with the bodies we can only dream of having still have self-esteem issues. We are never happy with our bodies…that is just the nature of women and the stress society puts on us.  I vividly remember reading an article about how Jessica Simpson (in the height of her career and in the best physical shape I have seen her in) said that she wasn’t happy with size of her butt.  I knew then and there, it doesn’t matter how skinny you are (or if you have scars, etc), we are never happy with what we look like. 

So don’t be so hard on yourself.  You are who you are…and you can be sexy no matter what!

Clothing/Under Garment Essentials

These are some staples in my closet that make life with an ostomy easier:

Belly band – same as the ones pregnant women use.  I know it is a funny thing to buy when you arent pregnant, but it works. It holds the bag tight again the body, so you can wear tighter clothing without seeing the imprint of the bag. You can also use this not tucked into your pants to look like a layering piece under a shirt. Can also keep on during sex.

Boyshorts – love them.  The placement of my ostomy let’s me put on boyshorts and it covers up the bag so I can forget I have it when I look in the mirror.  I fold the bag in half to fit in my panties.

Tank tops (or layers in general) – I wear a tank under most of my tops (or the belly band).  This adds a layer effect right around the midsection…to distract when the bags starts to fill.  Also good for sexual encounters….take your panties off but leave the tank on (with the ostomy tucked up under the tank). Take the straps off your shoulders and let your boobs out the top…now the tank is wrapped right around your mid section….right where you need to it to be :)

Casual Sex

I have an ostomy, and we haven’t been dating long enough that I feel comfortable telling him.  Ya know, it’s a big long story, and well…I think this guy is hot and I want to sleep with him. So, we started fooling around. He kept trying to take off my pants…so I let him.  I had spandex type of boyshorts on that were covered in a top layer of lace, so he couldn’t see my ostomy at all. But before he started feeling around I told him I had just had surgery on my abdomen and I was self-conscience about what it looked like since it was bandaged up.  We had gone out on a few dates and I had mentioned that I had Crohn’s Disease. I like to tell people on the 1^st or 2^nd date, just to see how familiar they are with it and see what kinds of questions they ask. Anyway, back to the bedroom discussion….He didn’t think anything about the fact that I was self conscience.  He put on a condom and pulled my panties over to the side…and we went at it. 

We casually dated for a few months, and continued sleeping together on occasion (same way as described above).  I knew he wasn’t going to be the “one” so I didn’t even bother telling him…eventually our relationship dwindled.

(By no way am I condoning casual sex…these are just my experience that maybe can help someone!)